My head is a mess right now, so...

I am exhausted. Physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. I am drained.

But, it's because I want something that I can't have. And it's something that I feel shouldn't be so far out of my reach.

I just want to be loved. Desired. And not just in a sexual way. I want what I thought I had, but apparently don't.

When I'm obviously visibly depressed, I don't want to beg for a hug. And I don't want to be pushed away, I want it to last until I am done. I don't want to spend my life alone, crying, pining for the thing I cannot have because I am not what is wanted right now.

Discarded. Used. Already Experienced. Not A New Thing.

Forgotten Playtoy.

Not Human. Without feelings. Without love.

Empty.

Useless.

These are things that I feel. I should not have to beg to unfeel them. I should not have to beg for comfort, like a forgotten mutt.

I came willingly. And, yet, my stubbornness keeps me here. Because I want that which I apparently cannot have.

Hello,

My name is Jennifer Burns. While I'm not an avid traveller, I have been recently forced to remove an airline from my pool of potential companies that I would patronize for future travel.
That airline is Southwest Airline.
Today, a letter, written by one Adrienne Browne of your Customer Service Team, to a concerned customer was posted on a blog that I frequently read:
http://bunnybliss.blogspot.com/2010/06/thumps-for-southwest-airlines.html

I am a responsible rabbit owner, and my pets are all well-behaved. As such, I take offense to the letter written by Ms. Browne. Her research on domestic rabbit behavior can't be more than anectdotal, because even a cursory Google search would have gleaned far more information on what good pets rabbits are. They are quiet and easily kept in a pet carrier, which is how I expect the dogs and cats currently allowed by your policy travel.
My problem isn't so much with your policy. As a business, You're free to allow or disallow anything you want from your flights. My problem is the flippant disregard shown by Ms. Browne. She may have thought she was funny, but, I don't find her funny. I find her rude, and I can't spend my money with a company where the customer service is as bad as it is here.
I do hope you consider changing your policy. I can assure you, while you'll definitely be aware of even the most well-behaved dog or cat at most points during a flight, you'll only be aware of a rabbit if its owner decides to take it out of its carrier.

Sincerely,
Jennifer Burns

I've officially decided that my family has the organizational skills of a ball of fur. From a dead raccoon.

So, since January, my Mother in Law has been planning a baby shower, originally for family up in this area, because some of them just can't make it for a 2+ hour drive to Adrian for the shower my mom and sister were originally planning.
Because, you know, actually getting together (my MIL DID try) and having it in a halfway point would just be ridiculous.

So, the baby's due in, like a month and a half. Officially. And, my MIL would like me to have a baby shower BEFORE THE BABY IS BORN. Because, you know, it's normal. Ish.

Last month, my family decided that they weren't going to throw me a shower, and they were just going to combine efforts and help my MIL out. GREAT. AWESOME. FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!!!

Until, you know, my MIL wouldn't wait until after the baby was born, because I'm apparently pregnant at a really inconvenient time, and, you know, my mom can get the fucking day off of work to make Krystal clean the house, but not for my baby shower. I feel so important.

I'm not getting petty over a party. I honestly couldn't give a shit about a party. I appreciate that my friends love me enough to gather together and help me out with things I'll need for the baby. I appreciate the hell out of that. More than I have words to express. What I don't appreciate is all the bullshit and baggage that comes with planning ANYTHING that involves my family.

My older sister, Holly, was just told a few weeks ago that she would be alerted "any time now" when the baby she and her husband will be adopting will arrive. This, I think is fucking awesome. No lie. I thought it would be a great thing for my baby to have a cousin close to his age, and Holly is an amazing mom. I have no beef about this. What I think is shitty is, my mom AND other sister have already planned to drop everything the moment they get the baby, and head out to Chicago.
BECAUSE CHICAGO IS SO MUCH BETTER OF A DRIVE THAN FUCKING DETROIT. Let's see. 12 hour drive...or 2 hour drive?

My mom came up here, with my dad, brother, soon-to-be-sister, and son, last summer for a party my MIL threw for Joe and I after we got married. They both marveled at how much of a NOT BIG DEAL it was to drive up here, as well as how much of a not-ghetto we lived in, being as close to 8 Mile as we are (can see it from the front yard. Yes, the movie exaggerated it a LOT). So, my mom knows the deal.

I just wish, for once, my mom and sister would realize that I exist outside of helping with art projects or making unique foodstuffs to bring to family occasions (like bacon chocolate chip cookies or apple cinnamon cranberry sauce). I wish that I wasn't a footnote in their life as an adult, because that's how I spent my entire childhood. Any time I did something that I'd like them to attend, there was something better to do. I made it to State EVERY YEAR for Solo & Ensemble for band and choir...they could only be bothered if Lyndi made it, too. I made it to State for Solo Dance...I got a ride to the school so my instructor could take me to the meet. I ran a benefit concert to raise money for the scholarship in my sister's name after she died, with a special song I'd written to them. They "forgot" what time it was, even though the poster was on the fridge, it was advertised all over the radio and newspaper, and I'd reminded them before leaving to set up. And, when I gave a solo recital before I moved to Minneapolis? They just couldn't be bothered. This is nothing new. This is more of the same. Only, now, instead of just being me that's ignored, it's happening to my kids. That's just not cool. I mean, Brodie has been promised a shit load of stuff by my mom that's never come to fruition. Gymnastics. Horseback riding. Wrestling. Piano lessons. Instead, he gets....1 night a week with a "Mentor". And they wonder why I get so mad at THEM when he goes nuts at school. He gets promised things by them left and right, and they can't even be bothered to do a goddamn thing.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

So, the CPSC has decided to recall 2 models of Infantino baby slings.

Their reasoning?

"On March 12, 2010, CPSC issued a warning about sling carriers for babies. Slings can pose two different types of suffocation hazards to babies. In the first few months of life, babies cannot control their heads because of weak neck muscles. The sling’s fabric can press against an infant’s nose and mouth, blocking the baby’s breathing and rapidly suffocating a baby within a minute or two. Additionally, where a sling keeps the infant in a curled position bending the chin toward the chest, the airways can be restricted, limiting the oxygen supply. The baby will not be able to cry for help and can slowly suffocate."

This tells me one thing. All of these carriers were being used improperly. You don't drive a car with your feet, and you don't just plop your baby into a sling without noticing that they're curled up into a position that they shouldn't be in.

The proper way to use a baby sling, regardless of the size of your baby, is to make sure they are NOT curled up in the sling. A newborn's head should NEVER be curled toward it's chest! They can't breathe this way!! This is the same reason you use a head support in a car seat, folks.

We live in a society where we don't take the blame for our own mistakes. Everything from blaming the dog for our farts to blaming the government for our quality of life, we don't look inward to make sure WE are doing what we can to prevent dischord and disharmony in our lives. Yet, even in the media AND the CPSC's description of the incidents, it's easy to see that this was user error, not a faulty product.

Yet, Infantino is the first to suffer for this. Now, I've never purchased anything from Infantino that I know of. The baby's first rubber ducky is from there, and my mother in law bought it. Am I going to tremble in fear that my baby is somehow going to die from contact with said ducky? NO. But, that's what happens when one product of one brand is recalled.

Toyota recently recalled 12 of its' models due to problems. Yet, some of the most high-profile problems they've had...turned out to be user errors. Why are we not looking into these things before a recall is done? Because it's too easy to blame the tool used than it is to blame the one who's holding the tool.

Baby slings are not a new, trendy thing. Baby slings are used all over the world, and have been for centuries. The problem is we women, in America, are not learning how to use things properly. We're instead hoping that by simply opening the box, the information will miraculously make it to our brains. You can't do that.

This is the age of information. It's EVERYWHERE. If you can take the time to find out what club Lindsy Lohan went to this weekend, you can take the time to visit websites like The Baby Wearer to find out how to properly use the baby sling you have for your child. They have a wealth of information, and there are literally dozens of websites on the internet right now that will not only tell you what you need to know, but are full of supporting parents to talk to!

Moms and Dads, wear your baby with pride! And do it the right way. Make sure you know what you're doing, and, if you need help, find someone to help you! Your baby is TOO important to be stubborn for. Ask for help. Your baby deserves it.

And it was all on his head. He had a bit of a babyface, with no goatee yet. He still has the same brilliant hazel eyes (my mind wanders to a little Ella..."Angel Eyes...that old devil sent..."), the same bright smile, and a laugh that makes me smile no matter what.
From the moment we met, I knew that I had finally found the one. The one worth the long haul. The ONE. The only time I've ever been more in love was the first time I saw Brodie...but, that's another story for another time.
We both knew. We'd wanted to marry for a long time, just the two of us, no one else around. Bills got in the way, then, a birth certificate debacle (who knew that getting adopted could make everything else a hassle??), and then money again. Finally, as a gift, his mother (now my mother in law) wanted to take us to get married. We chose today (well, today a year ago). Why not? St. Patrick's Day, the quintessential "Irish Heritage" day, would be the *perfect* day for me to drop my Irish Maiden name (O'Callaghan) and pick up my Scottish one (Burns).
And I haven't looked back.
And, now, we await the growth of our family. Our son will be born in May, and we're both wildly happy...nervous...scared...and walking on the road together. He may not share everything I'm going through (nor would I wish him to go through it. Heartburn after a glass of rootbeer? Are you kidding me?), but he's by my side while I'm going through it. And the same goes the other way.
I'm as stupid "girly" about him as I was a year ago, two years ago. Our marriage was never about the wedding. We knew it was necessary for a few reasons (Taxes, legal, insurance), but we'd have been fine without it. I love him. He loves me. I don't "complete" him any more than he does me...we just fit. We're two Lego™ pieces, we just fit together.

Ok, first of all, thank you SO MUCH for buying a hat (or two, or three!) :) You have no idea how much it means to me that you like my stuff, plus, it's given me something to do over the past week!

The first batch went out. There were 30 total hats, in 13 orders...and I'm still making 20 more hats! I've pretty much done nothing BUT crochet since then, LOL. And, the funny thing is...I've emptied the local craft stores of their Lion's Brand Vanna's Choice yarns in Black and White (they really should carry more!), LOL...good thing I ordered more straight from their website the first day of orders!!! *LOL*

The bad news is that...well, I have 20 hats to go. And I'm out of yarn until the shipment comes. If you haven't gotten a notice yet that your order has shipped, it hasn't shipped yet. I'm expecting the yarn to come in today, so the rest of the orders will start shipping tomorrow, as I get them finished. I finished the orders in the order they came in, and most of them were placed at the same time (and, yes, I DID get a WTF phone call from Paypal, LOL). Right now, I have 2 adult hats 2/3 completed, and I'm just waiting for the yarn.

So, that's the update. They should be out within the next few days, I'm working my fingers as fast as I can!!